The weekends are usually the hardest part for any person on diet. The lack of routine. The amount of opportunities to go out. But in moderation, I find anyway, it can work.

I love wine. This is not news. But another thing I love is baking. I bake all the time. And while I do enjoy eating it, it’s mostly the activity I enjoy. HOWEVER. If I make a big, amazing pan of Buckeye Brownies (like I did this weekend), I’m almost certain that if I leave them at home, I’ll quickly consume them all.

My trick? Bake on a Sunday and take them to the office on a Monday morning. Maybe you need a bit more self-control, but it does usually work. This way you can allow yourself to have a small piece of whatever delicious goody you’ve put together, but then you can get rid of the rest of them without feeling guilty.

So bake, and unleash the carbs & calories on your colleagues. It’s the way forward.


Buckeye Brownies

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i love food.

Before the weekend, I’d like to get a rant off of my chest. I signed up for a Weight Loss Challenge group in my hometown. It was my mother’s doing, “It’s only $45, I’ll pay, come with me!” So I foolishly said yes. Well, not foolishly, I do enjoy being accountable to someone other than myself. It definitely works as motivation. Weigh-ins are on Thursday. So Wednesday nights, I’m extra good. NO DONUTS, WEIGH-IN AT CULT (yes, I refer to it as Cult) TOMORROW NIGHT. It usually goes along those lines.

Every Thursday, I go for weigh-in and have to stick around for a little “group chat.” From Day 1, I could tell that the woman running it is definitely a CrossFit psycho. The minute she started talking about protein, I knew she was paleo. Sure enough, she is. Strict paleo diet, extreme CrossFit athlete. This is all fine and dandy, I just have issues being in this group because I don’t follow that diet at all. Also worth noting, most of the people in the group are 40+. At 26, I am easily the youngest in the group. I don’t think what she’s teaching is sustainable, especially to a lot of the older crowd. I digress.

To quote last night “Food is not a treat. Food is fuel for the body.” I can say with 100% certainty that I will never feel this way. I’ve been dieting and working out, and still managed to lose weight. I also went to Atlanta last week, and you can bet your ass I had some mac-n-cheese & southern fried chicken. And it was worth every second. I adore food. And good food at that. I feel that the woman running this group has a borderline eating disorder. Closely monitoring everything that goes in, goes out. Doesn’t eat grains. Doesn’t eat fruit (sugar is a “trigger”). I could go on for days.

I’m going to continue what I’m doing, hopefully continue to see results, and I will have chicken wings & beer if I so please. All good things in moderation.


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Ode to Boot Camp & my PVR

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For the past year, I’ve been going to the gym 4 times a week. I attend boot camp classes right after work, Monday to Friday. While I’ve been doing it for a year and getting stronger, it wasn’t until I adjusted my diet just over a month ago that I started to drop some weight.

My boot camp classes are amazing. They’re varied, the trainers are hilarious & motivating, but not in a crazy “I’m a drill sergeant and want to kill you” kind of way. The classes are at 5:30PM, so I go there straight after work. I find it hard to make an excuse to not go because by the time I’m home, it’s only 6:30. Plenty of time to make dinner, catch up on my PVR and maybe even crack a bottle of vino.

Morning workouts will never work for me. On occasion, I can drag my ass out of bed at 630AM and do a quick at-home-cardio thing before work. But for the most part, I love sleep and hit snooze. Bitch, you’re going to the gym after work, don’t be a hero.

I think what I’m trying to get at is that I am a normal person. I watch more TV than I should and drink more wine than my doctor would recommend. But I’m making fitness work for me. I still have my evenings to do whatever the hell I want (last night it was catching up on The Following, best show on TV..but that’s beside the point) without feeling bad about it. Oh, you wanna sit on the couch all night? That’s cool, you busted your ass for an hour earlier today. 

Fitness isn’t for everyone, and a year ago, I didn’t think I could do it. But now, I go to the gym almost daily. It helps that my trainers are hilarious and I’ve made friends at the classes. Classes tend to go a little faster when you spend most of the workouts gossiping amongst friends. I still come home afterwards and plant myself on the couch or go out for drinks with friends, but it works for me. I enjoy feeling like I still have a life while making these changes to my routines. I needed to make fitness work around the rest of my life. If you’re anything like me, you can make fitness work. And still have your wine, and drink it too.

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These types of quotes are all over the web – from Pinterest to fitness blogs to my Facebook feed (every. damn. day.) and I loathe them. I’m not sure why but I have a hard time buying into the whole beliefs system that a fit lifestyle is meant to sell you on.

I am all for bettering yourself. Go for it. But I don’t believe that every person who takes on changing their diet and fitness habits are suddenly happy-go-lucky, uber-optimistic people. I’m not some self-deprecating person with severe depression or anything. I’m a happy, sarcastic, cynical person. So while I’m working on my own diet and fitness routines, I take a much different approach. If I can laugh at myself, it’ll make it all go that much better. Making statements along the lines of “here’s to lifestyle changes!!!” (note: multiple exclamation points must be used) won’t make the changes any easier or believable.


de·tox·i·fi·ca·tion : n. 1. The process of removing toxic substances or qualities.

cocktails: n. 1. An alcoholic drink consisting of a spirit or several spirits mixed with other ingredients, such as fruit juice, lemonade, or cream. 2. mixture of substances or factors, esp. when dangerous or unpleasant in its effects synonyms: delicious, fun.

Welcome to my unconventional dieting & fitness blog, Detox Cocktails. I’m what you would call the opposite of a fitness enthusiast. While I enjoy seeing results, I hate the whole process of dieting, working out, counting calories, etc. I’ve only recently begun this process (I refuse to use the word journey. On basic principle, it’s cliched and this is not a journey, it’s a painfully long process during which I will likely hate myself more than once and really just want to gorge on cupcakes) and seen a bit of success. I’ve dieted years ago, but this time I’m trying to take it a bit more seriously. Combined with fitness, I’ve managed to lose 10 lbs in just over a month. Worth mentioning is that I’ve only had cut back on happy hour here and there, and can still enjoy the occasional (alright, weekly) glass of wine.

This blog is mostly an outlet for my own sarcasm and criticisms of the fitness mantra. But in addition to that, I’m going to share (complain a lot about) some of the things I’ve done that work, some of the things  I love and most certainly talk (whine & bitch) about the things I loathe (there are a lot).

If anything this serves as a journal for myself but if I happen to find some people out there who share my same views, awesome.

Looking forward to this new journey and hoping to gain some perspective on all of the secrets of life and what it is to be happy.  Wrong, I look forward to having a good time and hopefully losing some weight along the way.